Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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