Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
