U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found a bag of teeth...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
