all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
