it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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