the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
