So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think i have two assholes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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