Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
