You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
