id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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