life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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