i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
