Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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