Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
