no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
