Where is the hickey?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
