I just pynch a tree in the face
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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