Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
