i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
