someone threw a dead crab at me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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