Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize