just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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