He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
