I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
