Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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