we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
