Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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