So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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