i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
