we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
