i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
