I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
