Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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