yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
