Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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