at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize