im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
