Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
