I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
