yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
