I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize