I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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