Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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