Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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