Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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