Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
be right there i have to get my cape
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
