I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
