i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
