you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
