it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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