No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
