i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
