I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
