I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
