We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
