Only a mothe r could love this liver
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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