i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize