I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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