so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your cock deserves a montage
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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