Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
