How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
