You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
