So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize