i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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